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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Pills, thrills and backaches...

Those who've seen me in the last 8 months will know that I'm suffering with a back problem, namely bulging discs, trapped nerves, lots of pain etc. It was at it's worst 8 months ago and the fabulous NHS that I've been paying for for years is doing a great job of making me wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. (Sorry to all those nurses and doctors who I know work so very hard), but the frustration has been building up as much as the pain recently and 8 months on I've finally got an appointment for an epidural injection into the base of my spine to do something to my nerves and my muscles - whatever, it's about time, but also too late.

I've already taken 2 months off from work, I've put on weight, I've closed down socially, and although I have managed to get out and about to the knitting group nights it's always been tainted by being in some sort of pain, or just uncomfortable. The levels of pain have varied from agony to ache....last weekend the agony returned and when I found myself lying on the bathroom floor unable to move it's led to a whole new set of experiences - I had my first ever ride in an ambulance on Sunday (second ride in an ambulance on Monday). A&E at St Thomas', which is nothing like on the telly, intravenous morphine, lots of screaming, and discovering that laughing gas should be available like water from a tap. My second new experience is diclofenac suppositories...

I've never taken so many pills before in my life - I used to try to avoid them whenever possible and now I'm mixing them together like Jellybeans. The experience hasn't been an uplifting one. I've missed tonight's Chandos get-together, I've missed having a drink, I've missed work too and I guess in a few years time my liver will pack up too.

But it's not the drugs that have really got me through all of this - it's Gerard. We have so much on our plate at the moment - there's big news afoot at the shop, there's the small matter of organising the I Knit event in September, there's a brilliant little knitting shop to run, knitting group to organise, and there's lots of bills to pay. He's put up with me for 8 months, most of which time I could get about, I could grit my teeth and bear it and he's hardly ever lost his temper ;) He's also better at telling people what he really thinks than I am so he gets things done where I might just fold. I wouldn't have got through this whole depressing experience without him.

If you've ever met him you'll already know it, but it needs to be said: he is amazing. If you have someone amazing in your life don't take them for granted.



Anonymous said...

You poor, poor thing. i too have bulging discs in my neck and rheumatoid arthritis. i sympathise totally and like you i would not be able to carry on without my long suffering husband. The other thing that keeps me going are the wonderful knitting community and their blogs where we can all share experiences good and bad.

Wishing you strength, peace and recovery XXXXXX

Calvin said...

Feel better soon!

Mel said...

Sorry to hear you are still having such a rough time of it. The diclofenac suppoitories aren't great are they but they do allow the doctors to sling you out of A&E free up space and send you home. I did get sent home with a little pack of Vallium too when I had my trapped nerves in my back and shoulder. No bulging discs thank goodness. They did have to shove loads of drugs into my arm (then I passed out) before they could get me down the stairs and into the ambulance. It just isn't a good experience. Personally giving birth is easier and the epidurals come almost as standard! I do hope you get some positive progress very soon and you are right you are luck y to have Gerards support but I know you would do just the same for him too. Take care. xxx

scullyknits said...

a tear came to my eye not only because of your pain but because you said such lovely things about G.
I agree he is brilliant and so is you- I am missing you.